Criminal-Eminem

A lot of people ask me stupid f**kin' questions

A lot of people think that what I say on a record

Or what I talk about on a record

That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it

Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody

That I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it

Well sh*t if you believe that then I'll kill you

You know why cause I'm a criminal

Criminal you're godd**n right

I'm a criminal yeah I'm a criminal

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez

Or a homosex hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress hate fags the answer's yes

Homophobic nah you're just heterophobic

Staring at my jeans watching my genitals bulgin'

That's my motherf**kin' balls you'd better let go of 'em

They belong in my scrotum you'll never get hold of 'em

Hey it's me Versace whoops somebody shot me

And I was just checkin' the mail

Get it checkin' the male

How many records you expecting to sell

After your second LP sends you directly to jail

Come on relax guy I like gay men

Right Ken give me an amen amen

Please Lord this boy needs Jesus

Heal this child help us destroy these demons

Oh and please send me a brand new car

And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital

Preacher preacher fifth grade teacher

You can't reach me my mom can't neither

You can't teach me a godd**n thing cause

I watch TV and Comcast cable

And you ain't able to stop these thoughts

You can't stop me from toppin' these charts

And you can't stop me from droppin' each March

With a brand new CD for these f**kin' retards

And to think it's just lil old me

Mr don't give a f**k still won't leave

I'm a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

I'm a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

The mother did drugs hard liquor cigarettes and speed

The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed

It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she

Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me

I'm a criminal an animal caged who turned crazed

But how the f**k you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised

So as I got older and I got a lot taller

My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger

I drink more liquor to f**k you up quicker

Than you'd wanna f**k me up for sayin' the word

My morals went pffft when the president got oral

Sex in his oval office on top of his desk off of his own employee

Now don't ignore me you won't avoid me

You can't miss me I'm white blonde-haired and my nose is pointy

I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die

In plane crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him

Slim Shady I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined

The maniac's in in place of the doctor

Cause Dre couldn't make it today

He's a little under the weather so I'm takin' his place

Oh that's Dre with an AK to his face

Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place

I told you Dre you should've kept that thang put away

I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it eh

I'm a criminal

Aight look just go up in that motherf**ker

Get the motherf**king money and get the f**k up outta there

Alright

I'll be right here waiting on you

Aight

Yo em

What

Don't kill nobody this time

Awwright godd**n this motherf**ker gets on my f**kin' nerves

How you doin'

Hi how can I help you

Yeah I need to make a withdrawal

Okay

Put the f**king money in the bag b**ch and I won't kill you

What oh my God don't kill me

I'm not gonna kill you b**ch quit looking around

Don't kill me I've got two kids at home don't kill me

I said I'm not gonna f**king kill you

Don't kill me

Hurry the f**k up thank you

Go go go

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it

So when I rob a bank run out and just dive in it

So I'll be disguised in it

And if anybody identifies the guy in it I hide for five minutes

Come back shoot the eyewitness

Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business

Die b**ches bastards brats pets

This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his a** yet

If I ever gave a f**k I'd shave my nuts

Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck

You motherf**kin' chickens ain't brave enough

To say the stuff I say so just tape it shut

Sh*t half the sh*t I say I just make it up

To make you mad so kiss my white naked a**

And if it's not a rapper that I make it as

I'ma be a f**kin' rapist in a Jason mask

I'm a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

I am a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

I'm a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

I'm a criminal

Cause every time I write a rhyme

These people think it's a crime

To tell 'em what's on my mind

I guess I'm a criminal

I don't gotta say a word

I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin'

I don't take sh*t from no one

I am a criminal